In Which I Look Back In Horror

It has come to my attention that my blog is what young people would call a "fail". So here I am to actually post something again. I swear I do try but my life has been very busy with me getting a new job and all.

At long last, I have left the retail sector behind me. I have completed my schooling, and like a caterpillar escaping from the cocoon that it has fought against for so long, I shed my uncomfortable cage and emerge, a beautiful butterfly with a Bachelor's Degree in Computer Information Systems.

I feel that it is only appropriate now to reflect upon some of the interesting characters I have had the experience of working with.

Gross Cashier Girl


The retail business attracts many different sorts of people, many of them socially awkward and inept. One such example springs to mind now, of the interesting person I shall call Gross Cashier Girl. Although I was a salesman, occasionally I would have to go behind the cash counter to perform some task. This was something that I did not look forward to, as it would force me to engage in an awkward conversation with whatever person was manning the cash register at that moment. Normally, I would bury my head into some drawer, in an effort to look very busy.

This would usually work. But not this day.

I attempted to shove my head further into the shelf, hoping that I would, perhaps, find Narnia, if only I crawled in a little farther. Evil though the White Witch may be, surely she would provide a more engaging conversation than the one I was about to have.

Too late. I was being summoned. I drew my head out from the comfort of the underside of the counter and responded: "Yes?"

"Do you ever, like, burp, and then have puke come up into the back of your throat?"

"I think I may have, just now."

I quickly made my exit.

That, of course, is only one of the interesting staff members I encountered on a day-to-day basis. There was another:

Over-Friendly New Kid

Normally, when a new person is hired into a team, they spend a few shifts finding their place, getting to know people, before they begin to feel comfortable.

Not this guy.

This guy was instantly everyone's best friend. At least in his mind. The first day he was hired, I passed him as he left the store. What happened next was... incredible.

As I walked past him, we eyed each other, me nodding slightly to acknowledge his presence as a new member of the team. Thinking we had made the necessary greeting, I continued on, only to have my back patted vigorously, like I was a test subject in some sort of Massage Through Violence program. I whirl around to face my attacker, only to see the New Kid with his hands firmly planted on my shoulders. "Hey, Josiah. You have a great weekend, buddy!"

"...You too."

I stumble on, my mind shattered by what I had just experienced. What a first impression. How he knew who I was, I'll never know.

When I announced that I would be leaving the job, he approached me afterwards.

"Hey, Josiah. Um, so, I noticed that you talk to the other guys sometimes." (Yes, strictly at work, and only about work.) "So I was wondering we could, like, talk outside of work sometimes."

"Yeah, add me to Facebook or something," I respond. Unfortunately, my name does not show up in Facebook search. Oh well.

I can only hope that in my new job I can find people as entertaining and interesting as these to work with.