Saturday, October 9, 2010

The P's: Episode 5 - SUPER SPECIAL #1


The P's present: Brave P and King Bomb: Mecha Madness

I can't be sure, but it looks like something just got real.

The raw emotion on everyone's face in this picture forces me to empathize with each character... and then realize I have nothing to empathize with because they are just stick men with angry eyes.


P's in: Defeating Bubbly Bomb!

I wonder what happens in this episode.


We pick up right where we left off. Bubbly Bomb is standing in front of the door to the War Room.

Ominous Voice: Come in.


Bubbly Bomb enters the War Room.


Brave P motions to his crew.

Brave P: Come on.

What are P and Propelly so happy about here? They are entering a War Room. There's not going to be any ice cream. Maybe they're just bloodthirsty freaks. I'd expect that from a mutant like Propelly, but not from P... I guess it's just another layer to his already extremely deep character. He's like the Dexter of the group.


Brave P dramatically enters the War Room, and Scaredy P does some ridiculous hop.

(laugh track)


The four adventurers stand, stock still, in horror at what lies before them. Scaredy P falls over.

Brave P: GASP!

Nothing like shouting the word "GASP" to convey your shock at a situation. Sadly, I know people that do this in real life.



King Bomb, the Master of Evil himself sits upon his pleather throne, smiling a toothy smile at his foes. His three deformed cohorts guard him on all sides.

King Bomb: Hello, Brave P.

If The P's was a movie, James Earl Jones would play King Bomb. I read every one of King Bomb's lines in his voice.


The P's take a moment to talk strategy.

Brave P: Propelly takes Bubbly Bomb, P takes Snake, Scaredy-cat P takes Burning Bomb, and I'LL take King Bomb.

How he knows all the minion's names, I'll never figure out. Maybe King Bomb puts out a Henchman Calendar every year that Brave P always buys. "Hey there, Bubbly Bomb... or should I say, Mr. February?"


A dramatic close up of Brave P's mouth as he snarls a single phrase.

Brave P: Get them.

Brave P is voiced by Sean Connery.


The P's launch their attack. This song probably starts playing. P jumps on Snake's back, while Bubbly Bomb leaps into the air to confront Propelly, a bubble beginning to fester on his backside. Burning Bomb unleashes an incredible laser volley at Scaredy P but unfortunately misses by millimeters. Brave P, with a roar, launches a flying kick straight into the abdomen of King Bomb.

Brave P: Aargh!

Again, Brave P uses his experience in dealing with bombs here. Physical violence appears to always be the answer, with no concern for the safety of anyone else.


The battle rages on around Scaredy P. P throws a punch at Snake, but Snake slithers out of the way. Lasers appear to shoot out of King Bomb's foot, but Brave P quickly dodges. I'm not sure what Propelly and Bubbly Bomb are doing, but they better not be smooching.



P falls to the ground as Snake lunges at him. P uses physical violence on King Bomb again, making a small dent. Scaredy P's squiggly lines disappear, as he finds the angry eyes within. Propelly and Bubbly Bomb continue smooching.

Scaredy P is probably secretly the only competent one in the group, but he hides it behind his squiggly lines... but really, all he's ever wanted... was to be loved. He puts walls up, not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.

Too bad no one cares.


Scaredy P launches into a wild attack, bouncing off King Bomb's head and knocking Burning Bomb off of the ceiling. Unfortunately King Bomb has trapped Brave P under his foot. P punches Snake, and Propelly and Bubbly Bomb have stopped smooching. The cyst on Bubbly Bomb's back no longer looks benign.


While the fighting continues, King Bomb says something idiotic.

King Bomb: Only the sword can get me!

Why would he say that. That is ridiculous. Your minions are losing, and you just decide to shout out your only weakness. If King Bomb was your friend on Facebook, he would obviously be the one posting every mundane aspect of his day for all to see.


Propelly removes the bubble from Bubbly Bomb's back. Bubbly Bomb immediately senses danger.

He's picking up a BUBBLE. Hands of an angel, that one.


Propelly throws the bubble bomb into Bubbly Bomb himself, causing a massive explosion of guts and gore which throws this comic into the PG range. King Bomb looks mortified.

Propelly didn't even give him a chance to surrender. That monster.

To be Continued...


They defeated Bubbly Bomb! Now just Snake, Burning Bomb, and King Bomb left! In case you lost track.

In the next issue, P punches Snake down. Really? I think seven-year-old me had no interest in suspense at all and really only cared about getting people to buy the next issue. I had clearly sacrificed plot for money. Seven years old and already a sell-out.

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