However, seven-year-old-me had ambition. And everyone has to start somewhere. I worked with what I had and forced my family to read my creations.
While I made thousands of little drawings, I did, in fact, create a fully-fleshed out comic series entitled "The P's". It was about a group of stickmen that fought evil. I think I titled it "The P's" because the letter 'P' has some sort of passing resemblance to a stickman... I was quite creative.
I actually managed to save these little comics throughout the years, and reading them now, I think, provides unique and hilarious insight into the mind of a seven-year-old whose greatest worry is misbehaving and receiving spankings.
Sadly, Episode 1 of The P's is lost to the sands of time. If memory serves, it involved an introduction to the main characters, which I will give you now:
The leader of The P's. He's the brave one, so I guess it made sense to make him the leader.
The other guy. Virtually indistinguishable from Brave P. So bland he doesn't even have an adjective in front of his name. They appear to be identical in every other way, leading to much confusion throughout the series.
This is seven-year-old-me's idea of comic relief. A P that is terrified of everything, so much so that his body appears to have degenerated into squiggly lines. At least it wasn't another completely identical guy.
So in the first episode, there was some random wall near the P's house that kept crumbling down and being rebuilt. Apparently this is SERIOUS BUSINESS for the P's - they send out P to investigate, but something terrible happens to him, leaving us with a cliffhanger before Episode 2!
WHO IS TEARING THIS WALL DOWN AND REBUILDING IT AND THEN HURTING P I MEAN THAT'S JUST AWFUL
Without further ado...
(click to enlarge the pictures if you so desire)
(My comments in bold)
Here we are introduced to the villain. The nefarious delinquent who would dare to tear down a useless wall and rebuild it again. He appears to be some walking bowl filled with bubbles and eyeballs. With limbs. Truly horrifying. He appears to have planted a circular device at the base of the wall... If you squint, you can see the words "Atom Bomb" on it. That is the smallest atom bomb I have ever seen.
P's in: A Lead!
The P's kneel over a badly mangled P. There appears to be some sort of flashlight next to his body.
In No. 1, the P's found a crumbling wall that kept being built. When they went to inspect, something happened to P!
Brave P: Gasp!
A helpful introduction for those readers who had somehow gotten confused due to the complex plot. Also, apparently Scaredy P has been cured of his squiggly line problem? Now they are all completely identical. What a stupid idea on my part.
Scaredy P points at a mark on P's face.
Scaredy P: Hey, look!
P has a fading mark of what appears to be a slap on his face. One of the worst things that can happen to a person, as all seven-year-olds know.
P slowly sits up.
Brave P: He's coming round!
That must have been quite a slap.
Brave P: What happened?
P: Well, when I went to inspect...
P is having a flashback here to when he went to inspect the wall. I did stuff like that before LOST.
Also, I'd like to note Scaredy P's smirk on the left. His friend just got smacked into unconsciousness and he obviously thinks it's hilarious. What a jerk.
P sneaks up to a ladder behind the wall with his flashlight on. Ominous pops and fizzes come from the top of the ladder, and a bomb with a lowly burning fuse sits on the ground.
P: There was a BOMB on the ground! Someone was standing on a ladder, lighting. I heard pops and fizzles.
Way to interrupt his smoke break, P.
A shadowy form drops from the ladder, taking P by surprise as he drops his flashlight!
P: He jumped down from the ladder!
The shadow punches/slaps P in the face, leaving a hand-shaped mark.
P: He slapped me!
Because you accused him of being a terrorist when he was on a smoke break.
Back in the present, the fuse continues to burn behind the wall...
P: But that bomb...
Scaredy P got his squiggly lines back. Seven year old's don't care about continuity.
A beautifully rendered explosion sends the P's flying. Those atom bombs sure do pack a punch.
Unscathed except for a few pound signs on their faces, the P's discuss their next move.
Brave P: About those pops and fizzes.
P: There's only one thing that makes a sound like that.
The P's come to a conclusion, which appears to cause Scaredy P to faint. You can tell by the squiggly legs.
Brave P and P: Bubbly Bomb!
To be continued...
They seem to know this Bubbly Bomb guy. Ex-gang member? Uncle who stole their cutlery? Tune in next week to see the BIG REVEAL
Apparently I felt the need to include an info page at the end of the comic, just in case there was anyone who couldn't follow the many varied and complicated plot lines.
So, P got slapped. And we know know that Bubbly Bomb set the bomb. How they figured that out is simple: Please tell us, I'm so lost. First, we know there is only two people that set bombs: Bubbly Bomb and Burning Bomb. Oh, of course! Their last names are both "Bomb"... it's so simple! Second, there's only one person who makes pops and fizzes... These guys should be in the CIA or something. Really, top notch detective work, boys.
Now, in the next issue, they will be meeting someone new. So later, a new set of issues will be coming out. Watch for them! This "spin-off series" never came to be. Obviously I was being a little ambitious with creating a spin-off series only two episodes in. Seinfeld killed it in the ratings, and that was the end of that.
Seven-year-old-me thought an ordering sheet would be necessary, in case any of my siblings decided they wanted to order back-issues. You know, like #1, the only other issue in existence at this point.
There's many more episodes where this came from... I'm thinking I'll make it into a 'weekly feature'. Hopefully my reader will tune in every Saturday to catch the future episodes of this gripping drama. Check back next weekend for Episode 3.